Rule #3 In Action

Curiosity helps get it right.

This past weekend, I had coffee with a friend. We had a wonderful, wide-ranging conversation, and at one point, we started talking about people who tend to embellish how much they know about specific subjects. At this point, my friend mentioned one of his favorite TV scenes.

He asked if I’d seen it, which I had, but I didn’t recall completely. Once he reminded me of the scene and the subject matter, we discussed it briefly. We can all be so quick to judge, but what happens when we might first be curious about the subject matter instead of judging?

Our conversation came in and out of my mind during the rest of the day, and I realized it was very relevant to the attitude I discussed in Rule #3-Getting it right is more important than being right. Here’s how it might look in action.

When you receive a comment on the course, is it judgemental or curious? Curious would sound like: “Hey, I noticed the greens were a bit quicker this week than last; how come?” A curious inquiry immediately allows you to express your expertise on the subject matter and inform and educate rather than feel you have to defend.

What if the comment is judgemental: “What the hell is wrong with the greens? They were great last week and terrible this week.” It’s easy to get defensive when the comment is judgmental, but we should first be curious about their commentary. Before getting defensive, wonder what they might be asking, then provide a sincere answer that isn’t defending yourself from their judgment but addresses their unspoken curiosity. “You ask a great question. Last week, the dew points were in the high 40s and 50s, which is good for greenspeed. Monday, they jumped up to the mid-60s, and it hurts greenspeed. The change came so quickly, we didn’t have time to adjust, but we’ll get there, and I’m sure they’ll be back to their best speed in a matter of days.”

One of the changes I’m most proud of came because I asked a member to elaborate on a comment that seemed judgemental; I’ve written about it before. The comment was about the putting surfaces and how they weren’t that great. I asked him to elaborate, and his eventual commentary led to how I manage our surfaces today. I turned judgment into curiosity, and everyone won.   

Over the years, I’ve gotten so that I start every talk I give with this slide.

It will never hurt you to be curious first. It’s a near-certain path to getting it right.